You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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