I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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