i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
