There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
