oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
