But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
