She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
