Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
