she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
