so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
