I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
