guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
