I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
