i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
