i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
