3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
