Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
