Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
