let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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