we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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