It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
