The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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