About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
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