No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
