Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
