i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
