We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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