Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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