Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
