so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
