i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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