Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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