do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
how drunk are you?
Several
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
