don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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