See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
