Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
