Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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