Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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