a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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