her vagina looked like bernie madoff
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
