Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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