Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
