Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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