Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
