Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
