this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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