you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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