I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
