so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
