your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
