I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
