Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
