ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
